i) It’s Ok if priorities change:
While growing up and seeing both my parents working hard as teachers I’ve always thought I would be a major career focused person. But, after staying away from my family in the last few years I’ve learnt that it’s ok if priorities change and it’s ok if you have totally different plans as opposed to what you have been brought up to believe is an ideal lifestyle. During your journey through life, you’ll be faced with numerous choices that may be in direct conflict with your priorities. Whether we realize it or not,but knowingly or unknowingly everyone does change their priorities with time. And it’s nothing new or different but that’s just how life works. Our needs are persistently changing with time as we continue with our journey of life. The Fact is
iii) Just be yourself:
I’ve heard the statement “just be yourself” so much. It sounds like an amazing thing to do, and I have wished many times that I could just do that.I’ve understood that the only one who truly cares for your well being and happiness is you yourself so, don’t ever feel bad about putting your needs first or for saying no or being selfish at times. What I’ve realized is that sometimes you’re the one standing in your own way. Everybody has something in their life that they’ve been meaning to do but haven’t found the time or are afraid to do due to certain reasons. We just need to break free and do what we want to and enjoy life. Also, I’ve learnt is that our actual real self is just being covered up with conditioned, fear-based thinking. Our true self is who we really are when we let go of all of the stories, labels, and judgments that we have placed upon ourselves. It is who we naturally are without the masks and pretentiousness. It is who we really are when we let fall to the floor the cloak of other people’s stuff that we have taken on. Everything else that we claim to be when we say, “This is who I am!” is only a story.
v) Speak up :
The last decade has made me realize the importance of speaking up. No one gets what they want by keeping quiet. Over the years there was silence, I inhabited which was edgy, uncomfortable silence that came from unsaid words, unsaid thoughts During this time I felt like talking is risky. Saying what I felt was, most times, simply not an option I considered; it was a kind of emotional bungee jumping that terrified me. I became convinced that words were weighty, not to be used loosely, and almost frightening in their potential impact. With the last few years spent away from home and being tangeled in the web of life and work I realized the importance of not speaking up at the right time and it dawned upon me that, however comfortable silence may seem it is important to speak up and make yourself heard even if this may offend or upset people.
vi) It’s Okay to be alone :
Over the last few years there have been times when I’ve spent most of the time alone. This has made me realize that it’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to be alone because you learn how to make yourself happy without the need for anyone else. You learn how to enjoy things without being forced to please others. When you are alone, you set the boundaries of protection. It doesn’t mean you are afraid of pain. It doesn’t mean you deprive yourself of the necessary vulnerability. It doesn’t mean you can’t get off your comfort zone. But it’s for you to dodge recurring troubles caused by being too open, too exposed to insensitive people. You’ve just become wise enough not to let everyone trespass your borders, because you knew not everyone has the best intentions for you. After being alone,you build high walls and guard yourself.
vii) Confidence doesn’t come from appearance :
The first half of the last decade was just the beginning of modernization and during that era societal pressures forced a lot of us to base ourselves worth on our weight and muscle mass. The later half of this era has been a time where I’ve realized that confidence doesn’t come from appearance. Weight has nothing to do with confidence and should not be in the way of living life. What I’ve understood is that the difference between individuals who achieve their dreams and those who feel unsatisfied with their lives often comes down to confidence. When someone feels that they need the approval or validation of others to feel good about themselves, they’re stuck playing a never ending game of cat and mouse. No matter how many things they accomplish or beautiful items they buy, it’s never enough to stay free of judgment and criticism. People with genuine confidence walk into rooms and demand attention through their presence alone. They don’t need the approval of others, but they’re so grounded in who they are and confident in themselves that the entire group of people turn their heads in envy or admiration. All of this is directly related to how you feel about yourself. If you are confident in your skin, then the world will never judge you based on your appearance. I’ve found happiness in life and confidence in my appearance without having washboard ABS.
viii) Everything you want is on the other side of fear:
This quote from George Addair states has a very powerful message in itself and is one of the many learnings from the past decade. I’ve learnt that the only way to move beyond my fears is by exposing myself directly to what I’m afraid of and doing things that scare me. Fear is a powerful emotion. It often masquerades as a cloak of protection, keeping us from doing things that may cause us harm. But sometimes, the real damage comes from the inaction that fear enables.We avoid at all costs those things that make us uncomfortable, but there is no growth in the status quo. Sooner or later, that caution and those fears that prevent you from getting hurt or put you on the spot and make yuou stagnate. For the last few years of the last decade, I’ve lived all by myself managing all my stuff which I’ve been scared of as I used to always think of life impossible without my parents. But, facing my fears has lead me to discover more new ways of living life.
ix) People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime:
Over the last decade I met a lot of people, have created some lasting friendships, had several long-term relationships. I believe that every person whom I meet comes into my life for a reason. Some people provided me guidance and supports and others I felt a strong emotional, intellectual connect and of course also had adventures and life experiences with others. Friendships and relationships often come to an end. Sometimes you slowly drift from one another as you have different life paths. Other times relationships end with a break-up. It hurts when relationships and friendships end, especially when you have invested a lot of time and energy into those people. No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it did not bring you what you wanted, you can learn a lesson about what you don’t want.
x) Take action:
The most important lesson I’ve learned over the last decade, is the only way to achieve my goals is by taking action. While positive attitude, empowering thinking and visualization has some merit, thoughts without actions get nothing done. I used to overthink whether I should pursue certain endeavors, trying to weigh the pros and cons. I also spent a lot of time on planning, just to find out that my plans almost never went according to my expectations.I still believe that analysis and planning are important. However, at some point you have to get out there, start doing the work and figure out the rest as you go along. Otherwise, doubt and fear can overtake and just kill your dreams.I’ve also realized that instead of waiting for inspiration, motivation and perfect circumstances, I just need to take some small action to get the ball rolling.